When you were a kid, did you ever go feed the horses, rip up the grass and put it in a flat open palm. I always remember being told keep the palm flat and open. Now I am sacred of horses or used to be, so what happens ? the hand starts to clasp for some reason and hey presto a finger gets nipped reinforcing the theory in my mind.

This modern world we have can be quite outwardly facing. In life I so quickly  forget that I lack nothing, but often I have things, people or ideas in the palm of my hand and start to grasp with that hand cos of fear. A lovely friend was talking to me the other day and just popped a teaspoon in his flat hand and said we should be ok, with the spoon there or without the spoon there, the hand stays the same.

This old attachment stuff, we are human and learning, well I am all the time, albeit slowly.

One such thing is sport, apparently there are good addictions/ attachments and bad. I am learning that all attachment has a price. Injury and a huge fear swept through life a little while ago and ripped sport out of my hands. Now I had kind of known I was hiding in it, but not really seen till it was taken away. Meaning my life went out of balance a lot.

What is it where even with a small amount of awareness attachment grows quite quickly and the self seems to take a need for theses things that come into life rather than letting flow ?

Usually more often than not all of theses things come into my life because of love, the enjoyment and happiness they bring. Then subtly without too much notice a small clinging starts…. ooooo this is good, I like this I am good at this etc etc etc.

I kind of see it with myself as a circle, complete. Then there are lots of circles touching the circle all around it complementing and being part of life. Why do things get out of balance and one or two of those circles start to be grasped ?

Today after a month of not paddling it was just amazing to be out on the board and appreciating life after seriously thinking I may never paddle again. The love was present again, now the love never disappears, my mind just gets confused pretty often in my case. There can be a deep love move out of balance to a need through a bit of fear and attachment creeping in.

Everybody and everything is my teacher, the more I remember to look to myself to be love and enough, the more beautifully and in balance the whole picture is, and the other circles float round beautifully.

Its not just sport, often balance is lost and adjustment needed, finding this middle ground stuff seems an endlessly humbling and thankfully often hilarious look at myself too see how nuts mind can be.

Have a wonderful day x